All wavs on this page were sampled at (8 bit mono 11Khz) and all mp3s on this page were sampled at (80kbs 44Khz).

A song: "Somebody to love performed by: Jim Carrey"

Chip Douglas (Jim Carrey): "(KNOCK) (KNOCK) (KNOCK) (KNOCK) "Cable Guy!"

Chip Douglas: "You're offering me a bribe. What you have just done is illegal and in this state, if convicted you could receive a fine of up to five thousand dollars or spend six months in a correctional facilulululity. "
Steven Kovacs (Matthew Broderick): "Oh please no, that was dumb. I was just making conversation."

Chip: "(laughing) I'm just jerking your chain. I'll juice you up."

Chip: "Come back here so that I may brain thee!"

Steve: "I just don't have any room in my life for a new friend."
Chip: "So, what are you trying to say?"

Chip: "This concludes our broadcast day."