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Borat (Sacha Baron Cohen): "My name a Borat. I like a you. I like sex. It's nice."

Borat: "This a my country of Kazakhstan. It locate between Tajikistan, Kyrgyzstan and bleepholes Uzbekistan."

Borat: "This my town of Kuzcek. This a Urkin, the town rapist. Naughty, naughty."

Borat: "And here, Livamuka Sakonov, our town mechanic and abortionist."

Borat: "This my house. Entry please."

Borat: "He is my neighbor, Nursultan Tulyakbay. He is pain in my bleepholes. I get a window from a glass, he must get a window from a glass. I get a step, he must get a step. I get a clock radio, he cannot afford. Great success."

Borat: "This is Natalia. (He makes out with her) She is my sister. She is number four prostitute in all of Kazakhstan. Nice."

Borat: "And on weekends, I travel to capital city and watch a ladies while they make a toilet."

Borat: "I arrive in America's airport with clothings, U.S. dollars and a jar o gypsy tears to protect me from AIDS."

Borat: "Hey, what your name?"
Angry Subway Passenger: "My name is Mind Your Own Bleeping Business."

Hotel Manager: "Come on in."
Borat: "Oh, very nice. Very nice room."
Hotel Manager: "You're not in the room yet, sir. Hold on. You might want to repack your things. We're gonna be moving again shortly."
Borat: "I will not move to a smaller room."
Hotel Manager: "Sir, this is your floor. I'm gonna take you to your room."
Borat: "This is not my room?"
Hotel Manager: "This is the elevator. It takes you to the floor where your room is."

Borat: "Ooh, la, la. Wo wo wee wa. King in the castle. King in the castle. I have a chair. I have a chair. Oh, go do this, go do this. King in the castle."

Borat: "Hello. My name a Borat. I am new in town."
Business Man On Street: "Don't-- Don't get--"
Borat: "I say hello."
Business Man On Street: "Do not touch me."
Borat: "Do not get near my face."
Business Man On Street: "I-- I kiss you."
Borat: "Yeah, you kiss me, and I'll pop you in the bleeping balls, okay?"
Business Man On Street: "What mean a 'balls?'"

Borat: "(making kissing noises at a woman on the street) Very nice. How much?"

Borat: "This had been most happiest day of my lifes. I was very excite to start my reportings."

Borat: "Should I make a joke about my mother-in-law?"
Pat Haggerty: "Yes, in America, that's a very popular joke. Do you have a mother-in-law joke?"
Borat: "Yes."
Pat Haggerty: "Alright."
Borat: "I had a sexy time with my mother-in-law."
Pat Haggerty: "A what time?"
Borat: "Sexy time. I made a sexy time with my mother-in-law."
Pat Haggerty: "You had sex with your mother-in-law?"
Borat: "Yes."
Pat Haggerty: "Uh, I don't think that Americans would find that funny."
Borat: "No, it is not a joke."
Pat Haggerty: "Yeah, we're talking about, um, humor."
Borat: "Oh, yes, you asked me about my mother-in-law."
Pat Haggerty: "Do you have a joke about your mother-in-law?"
Borat: "No, why make a joke on a mother-in-law?"
Pat Haggerty: "Um--"

Borat: "Sometime my sister, she show her vagine to my brother, Bilo, and say 'You will never get this. You will never get this. La-la-la-la-la.' He, uh, behind his cage, crazy, crazy. Everybody laugh. She go, 'You never get this.' Uh, but one time he break cage and he get this. And then we laugh. High five."
Pat Haggerty: "Now, um-- Um, no, that would not be funny in America, okay?"

Borat: "What is a 'not' jokes?"
Pat Haggerty: "A 'not' joke is when we're trying to make fun of something and what we do is, we make a statement that we pretend is true but at the end, we say 'not,' which means it's not true."
Borat: "So teach me how to make one."
Pat Haggerty: "Alright. What color is your suit?"
Borat: "This suit is gray."
Pat Haggerty: "Gray. I would call it blue, okay?"
Borat: "It's gray."
Pat Haggerty: "Alright, it's blue-gray. But it--"
Borat: "Well, it's more gray."
Pat Haggerty: "It's certainly not black, right? Alright, let's say it's gray. But it's not--"
Borat: "It is gray."
Pat Haggerty: "Okay, so a 'not' joke, I would say, 'That suit is black. Not!'"
Borat: "This a suit is not black."
Pat Haggerty: "No, no, 'not' has to be at the end."
Borat: "Oh, okay."
Pat Haggerty: "Okay."
Borat: "This suit is black not."
Pat Haggerty: "This suit is black. Pause. You know what a pause is?"
Borat: "Yes."
Pat Haggerty: "This suit is black. Not!"
Borat: "This suit is black, pause, not."
Pat Haggerty: "No, you don't say 'pause.' This suit is black... That's a pause. Not!"
Borat: "This suit is black..."
Pat Haggerty: "Okay, um-- I don't-- I don't-- I'm not quite--"
Borat: "...Not!"

Borat: "Everybody say USA television much better, but this I watch for three hours, do not change."

Borat: "This C.J. was like no Kazakh woman I had ever seen. She had golden hairs, teeth as white as pears and the bleephole of a seven-year-old."

Borat: "In Kazakhstan, it is illegal for more than five woman to be in the same place except for in brothel or in grave. In U.S. and A., many womens meet in a groups called feminists."

Borat: "Do you think a woman should be educate?"
Feminist #2: "Definitely."
Borat: "But is it not a problem that the woman have a smaller brain than a man?"
Feminist #2: "That is wrong."
Borat: "But the government scientist, Dr. Yamak, have prove it is size of squirrel."
Feminist #1: "Your government scientist?"
Borat: "Yes, Dr. Yamak."
Feminist #2: "He's wrong. He's wrong."

Feminist #1: "What you're saying is very demeaning. Do you know the word 'demeaning'?"
Borat: "No."
Feminist #1: "We are saying to you that the..."
Borat: "I could not concentrate on what this old man was saying. All I could think about was this lovely woman in her red water panties. Who was this C.J.?"

Borat: "Although I was obsessed with this C.J., I could not pursue her or else my wife would snap off my cock."

Telegram Reader: "Uh, it's 'Dear Borat Sagdiyev, your wife, Ok- Oksana was walking your retarded Bilo in the woods when a bear attacked and violated and break her. She is now dead.'"
Borat: "Uh, my- you saying my wife is dead?"
Telegram Reader: "This is what it is... Ch-ch-ch-ch-ch. (humming) Uh, yes, sir. I'm sorry to inform you, but that's what the telegram says."
Borat: "High five! Great."

Driving Instructor: "My name is Mike. I'm gonna be your driving instructor. Welcome to our country, okay?"
Borat: "My name a Borat. (He kisses him on the cheeks.)"
Driving Instructor: "Okay, okay, good, good. I'm not used to that, but that's fine."

Driving Instructor: "Watch the children."
Borat: "Okay, no problem."
Driving Instructor: "You must not hit the children."

Borat: "Look, there is a woman in a car! Can we follow her and maybe make a sexy time with her?"
Driving Instructor: "No, no, no, no, no, no, no."
Borat: "Why not?"
Driving Instructor: "Because a woman has a right to choose who she has sex with."
Borat: "What?!"
Driving Instructor: "How about that? Isn't that amazing?"
Borat: "You joke?"
Driving Instructor: "There must be consent. How about that? That's good, huh?"
Borat: "I s not good for me."

Borat: "You want to have a drink?"
Driving Instructor: "You can't drink that while you're driving. It's against--"
Borat: "Why not?"
Driving Instructor: "It's against the law."
Borat: "What?!"

Borat: "Who is this car that follow us? I wish it didn't follow us anymore."
Driving Instructor: "Oh, I don't know."
Borat: "Maybe we lose them."
Driving Instructor: "No, we better not lose them."

Borat: "Hey, don't look at me. Eat my tits!"
Driving Instructor: "We'll make a right turn up here."
Borat: "Don't look at me like that! I will eat your bleep."
Driving Instructor: "Hey, don't do that. Just--"
Borat: "You bleep my mother."
Driving Instructor: "Hey, hey, no, you can't do that."
Borat: "No, he do before. He look on me."
Driving Instructor: "You can't do that, okay. They're gonna throw us in jail, me with you. You can't--"
Borat: "Why in a jail? He look on me. La-la-la- behind."
Driving Instructor: "You can't say that."

Borat: "Hey, don't look at me. Eat my tits!"

Borat: "Don't look at me like that! I will eat your bleep."

Borat: "I like you. Do you like me?"
Driving Instructor: "I do like you."
Borat: "You are my friend?"
Driving Instructor: "You are a nice young man, and I am your friend?"
Borat: "You will be my boyfriend?"
Driving Instructor: "Well-- (laughing) Ya, I won't be your boyfriend."
Borat: "Why not? You do not like me?"
Driving Instructor: "Well, I could be. Yeah, depends-- Well, boyfriend-- yeah, I can."

Borat: "A man yesterday tell me if I buy a car, I must buy one with a bleep magnet."
Car Salesman: "He means a car that women will like."
Borat: "Yes, but where you keep this magnet?"
Car Salesman: "No, there's no magnet. That was just-- He means the vehicle. Women love the Hummers."
Borat: "Do this have a bleep magnet?"
Car Salesman: "No. The vehicle itself will me a magnet."
Borat: "If I give you good price, will you please put in bleep magnet?"
Car Salesman: "Yeah, but there's- there's no such thing in this country as a- as a... magnet."

Borat: "If this car drive into a group of gypsy, will there be any damage to the car?"
Car Salesman: "It depends on how hard you hit them and all that. It's hard to say."
Borat: "Hard!"
Car Salesman: "Yeah, hard? You might-- If somebody rolls on the windshield, they could crack your windshield."
Borat: "How fast do I need to go to guarantee I kill him?"
Car Salesman: "Let me tell you something. With this vehicle here, probably doing 35, 40 miles an hour would do it."
Borat: "Great."
Car Salesman: "Okay."

Borat: "When I buy my wife--"
Car Salesman: "Mm-hmm."
Borat: "Um, at the start, she was a cook good, her vagine work well, and she strong on plow. But after three years, when she was 15, then she become weak. Her voice become a deep. (with a deep voice) 'Borat, Borat.' She a receive hair on her chest and her vagine hang like sleeve of wizard."
Car Salesman: "Huh, geez."
Borat: "How do I know that this will not happen with the car?"
Car Salesman: "Cheverolet guarantees you that with a warranty."

Borat: "I like a very much buy this Hummers. How much is it?"
Car Salesman: "52,000."
Borat: "I am looking for something between, um, 600 to 650 dollars."

Borat: "First stops on our journey was Washington, D.C.s, home of mighty U.S. warlord, Premier Bush."

Borat: "Uzbekistan! Bleep a you, motherbleepers!"

Borat: "Are you telling me the man who tried to put a rubber fist in my anus was a homosexual?"

Borat: "Even though my anus was broken, I knew that the rest of our journey would be great success."

Borat: "Howdy partners!"

Borat: "My name a Borat. I come a from Kazakhstan. Can I say first, we support your war of terror! May we show our support to our boys in Iraq. May U.S. and A. kill every single terrorist. May George Bush drink the blood of every single man, woman and child of Iraq! May you destroy their country so that for the next thousand years not even a single lizard will survive in their desert."

Borat: "My name a Borat. I come a from Kazakhstan. Can I say first, we support your war of terror!"

Borat: "I now will sing our Kazakh national anthem to the tune of your national anthem. Please stand. (singing) Kazakhstan is the greatest country in the world. All other countries are run by little girls. Kazakhstan is number one exporter of potassium. Other central Asian countries have inferior potassium. Kazakhstan is the greatest country in the world. All other countries is the home of the gays."

Borat: "Do not fear me, gypsy. All I want from you is your tears. Pleas give them to me, or I will take them."
Woman at Yardsale: "I'm not a gypsy. I'm a midwestern farmer's daughter. Americana."
Borat: "You have many treasures. Who did you rob for this?"
Woman at Yardsale: "We didn't rob 'em. They all came from inside the house."
Borat: "I will look on your treasures, gypsy. Is this understood? I will look on them."
Woman at Yardsale: "Please, do."

Borat: "Who is this lady you have shrunk? Was she the owner of this house that you camp in front of?"
Woman at Yardsale: "No. There's a couple more child's dolls ."
Borat: "Do not try shrink me, gypsy. I serious."

Borat: "What's up with it, Vanilla Face? Uh, me and my homey Azamat just parked our slab outside. We're looking for somewhere to post up our black asses for the night. So, uh, bang, bang, skid, skid, nigga. We just a couple of pimps, no hos."

Borat: "What's up with it, Vanilla Face?"

Borat: "Uh, me and my homey Azamat just parked our slab outside. We're looking for somewhere to post up our black asses for the night."

Borat: "What should I say if I need to go to the bleephole?"
Manners Instructor: "Uh, you mean to the restroom?"
Borat: "To the place to make the bleep"
Manners Instructor: "The bathroom. Okay. What you--"
Borat: "Not a bath. Uh, to make a dirt from anus."
Manners Instructor: "Not a bath. Right."
Borat: "The brown--"
Manners Instructor: "The toilet."
Borat: "Where you make, uh--"
Manners Instructor: "Yes."
Borat: "You understand?"
Manners Instructor: "Yes."
Borat: "Bad--"
Manners Instructor: "Yes."
Borat: "Bad-- Bad thing from it."
Manners Instructor: "Yes. Uh, what you do--"
Borat: "Brown."
Manners Instructor: "--is you say, 'Excuse me, I need to go to the restroom.'"

Hostess: "You roll off, like this and you wipe your bottom and you put the paper-- Look!"
Borat: "I-- You wipe mine?"
Hostess: "You! No, I don't You do."
Borat: "This is-- This is a very private thing."
Hostess: "The host-- The host cleans the anus of the other?"
Borat: "No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Nobody touches you except you."

Luenell: "If you're ever in town again this way, you know, look me up."
Borat: "If I ever in town again, Luenell, I would very much like to pay you for sex."

Borat: "I needed a gift to give to Pamela so that she would grant me entry into her vagine."

Borat: "I had no car, no money and no Azamat. The only thing keeping me going was my dream of one day holding Pamela in my arms and then making romantic explosion on her stomach."

Borat: "Let's get drunk!"

Borat: "I took a bus to Los Angeles with some friends of Mr. Jesus. Finally I had arrive. Happy times."

Borat: "Happy times."

Borat: "There Nursultan Tulyakbay. He's still bleephole. I get iPod. He only get iPod Mini. Everybody know it for girls!"

Soundtrack: "("O Kazakhstan" by Erran and Scha Baron Cohen from the credits)"

Soundtrack: "("Born To Be Wild" by Mars Bonfire Performed by Fanfare Ciocarlia from the credits)"